Saturday, October 31, 2009

Funny How

I am not sure if it's fortunately or unfortunately, I've been feeling this way for a while; I don't think many people care about the state of the nation, the world, about people. The reason for the two "fortunatelys" is because I haven't yet determined if the fact that people don't really care is good or bad. After all new beginnings come from bad endings and one thing I am sure about is that we could use a new beginning, not "change", not "hope". A new beginning.


I've been thinking about hope lately and decided that if people were happy they wouldn't need hope, in fact hope tends to require people to be unhappy or dissatisfied in order for it to thrive. It's not that hope is bad, it's just greedy. I've been thinking about happiness lately as well and decided that happiness is mostly just an effect; that it does us no good to try and "Be Happy" because trying to "Be Happy" is like trying to "Stimulate the Economy", you will get a result but it won't be what your looking for but, in a way, it will be exactly what you are looking for.


All that thinking has led me to wonder what people are really looking for in a leader? Why is it that so many people care so much about so much and yet we still have the same problems, squared, cubed even. I think it's because people don't care so much about so much. I think it's because people are generally lazy and more satisfied with "Being Happy" than happiness. Ohh well, there's not a whole lot to do about the situation, other than observe.


The funny thing is (Funny like before Joe Pesci, as Tommy DeVito, smashes a glass over the bar owners head) most of us know something is terribly wrong. Humanely wrong. The type of wrong that lives underneath our causes, underneath our fear. The kind of wrong that follows us wherever we go and will not be silent; so we create loudness and chaos and roil all around us in order to not listen.


I can no longer get mad at the politicians or the corporate theives who have satiated my rage so loyally and so completely for so long. It's is not them, they are no longer to blame and perhaps they never were, most likely they never were. Everything that has been written in human times about the human condition is right. Everything. And yet still we argue and kill and steal to prove our worth. We deserve everything we get, we've earned it. My only "hope" now is to seek my truth and express it to the best of my ability without concern for another soul; if there is to be an answer, any answer, this is the one. If my generation should seek to lay some type, any type, of foundation from which our children can steady themselves to grow, this would be it.


We've sanctioned it all, good and bad, and now it's time to look up from our murder, mayhem and malaise, at least for me it is, and breathe.


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