Monday, September 14, 2009

Are my sneakers wet or does it matter?

Today I am thinking about embracing what I have always known to be negative or bad. What I mean is stepping outside of myself, how? well that's another story, and looking at my life, my choices, my fears, my joy - looking in a non-judgemental way. At least in a way that is allowing of judgement. The way I have done it in the past is my judgement has always helped me to a conclusion, what I am trying to do know is to experience my judgement without allowing it to lead me to a conclusion. What I am finding is how superficially I operate - and I write that without concluding anything about what that means but simply stating it, judging it.

I am discovering different motivation, deeper motivation, what I sense is more pure motivation, motivation based on the desire to be closer to something rather than the desire to be away from something. I have a specific plan in my head, a specific way of creating what I want to see in the world. I have a belief that we humans have the ability to create anything we want in the world and that many simply don't choose to do what it takes to make it happen (A wise man said something like this).

I am choosing to make it happen and what a journey it will be because, as I am finding out now, the choice, although intense and deep and thick simply begins the process of testing your convictions, beliefs, fears, joy - all of it - as you set off on your journey that your choice set in motion. I expect the world to be the world and I expect that my journey will continue to twist and turn and what I hope will guide me is my understanding of what I want to be in the world and what I want to see in the world...Like taking a walk in the rain...If you decide that you want to take a walk in the rain, and that is what you want to do - it doesn't matter if your sneakers are wet.

heheheheheh

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