Friday, August 21, 2009

I Love Creamees

I find myself frolicking mentally
in the in-between hours
I find myself
surprisingly
lighter, quicker
I am not sure what's going on
but quickly, as if hoping not to catch my own thoughts,
I resolve to be ok.

I woke tonight, after not sleeping
deeply found in familiar sorrow
swamp and thick
I lay, knowing what would come
I lay, like an abandoned child
in my big house

And I did what I do - I rose
and went looking
-foraging-
and poured myself a purple soda over ice
but not before stepping outside
to feel the stars and see the wind

so full just moments before
so full of familiar, nothing new, nothing changes

until it did
and then it did

"don't justify, justify is weakness"
was the answer I had been looking for

and do you know, like in the movies
when the safe cracker
drops the final hammer
into the slot
click

click

And I looked around at my audience
as it always is
a chair, a tree, a bug,
a glass of purple soda
and I smiled before my lips moved.

Yet I still couldn't trust
the ghosts of familiar are not easily
vacuumed up
and the root of trust is deception
So I still couldn't trust

Sitting none-the-less
in the nowhere hours, darkness
a far off train
far far off - light, like the wind
I sipped

I knew before I rose
I would be taking a shower
even with the familiarity
I knew
and perhaps this was the first sign
of the click to come

Hot water beat musically at my face
the internal drums reflecting
skin bouncing, warm
My smile has begun to spread to my lips
my hair, long, dirty
scrubbed and rub-a-dubbed
pressing the soap suds to my ear
to clear the dull
as if the fear

I whirl my hair and shape it
into a point on the top of my head
full smile now
as I think of what's to come
and how long it's been
since I have seen my head
with a pointy top
I stretch my unicorn and twirl it
till it stays
and grasp it
like the revers milking of a teat

Hot water
soap
I step out of the running shower
to the mirror
and see a smiling face
with a creamee top.

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