Friday, July 4, 2008

veritas vincit

Everyone can do this - I think...as I sit down to type...

Everything that is put down here...every key stroke is permanent...

maybe more permanent than we ever thought possible

maybe not

but permanent enough.

My good friend leaves tonight

and I wonder what makes him good

and I wonder, once again, if wonder is the problem...
once again - meaning from long ago - 
years anyway - years

I sat in a tent, in the woods, alone, scared, sad, sorry
and I wondered about wonder

and tonight, as i sit and ponder what friendship means - 
what is a good friend - what is friend?

as i ponder those that thing - i think back and wonder if the wonder is what kills - either way...

back then I wondered why I wondered too much
and back then I wondered if I wondered enough...

Many of my instincts have been right
I have the ability to hear and see things
I have the ability to slow things down - things are slow to me, there is not much
except that is simple - that is confusing to me...

I understand that I am corrupt and I am pure
I yearn for the breast in the most carnal ways
and I am - I pause - 

wondering what could complete the sentence above - 
a contradiction, I think, to corrupt - 

and antonym.

In real life - 

what is pure?
Do I know love?

I know loss.

Sadness is temporary - madness is forever

madness - just the name....madness

"the 'ness' of being mad"

It came to me today - 

that all i have to do to release myself is to tell the truth.

I am punishing Sally - no question - I punish her - 
she knows
and still she stays
and i don't go.

cowards both
that i know
but more is me
mi amore

I drifted away into cyber space for a minute or a dozen - came up with that little poim above - 
and know i am back to punishing sally - no question - i punish her - 

said right after - all i have to do to release myself is tell the truth - which could be ...

all i have to do to honor myself, my life and life, is tell the truth - 

veritas vincit




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