Sunday, July 20, 2008

Capital I

I can't believe my amateurish writing at times...most times...many times...and I apologize to whomever is reading this...even, and especially, if it's just me...

the anger and expletives so weak and tired...like there is nothing else...
like anger is somehow unique or creative...

wordy and persistent - I keep at it...

thinking I am good because i like my own stuff.

when really I don't like most of my own stuff.

there must be something good - and who the fuck cares...

I am looking for the answer.

I am looking for the answer.

There is an answer out there...to say there is no answer is to succumb to a deeper grief - more powerful - like an ocean above a lake...without the knowledge of the ocean the lake seems vast and endless and superior...

If there is no answer than there is nothing from which to build a foundation...and my mind requires building, it requires the accumulated experience be made into further wisdom directing the choices i make.

or at least that's what I am thinking...capital I.

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