Monday, June 2, 2008

waking up this morning - i felt the stillness of the day
inside myself
like a calm ocean - not even a ripple

I thanked Victor Hugo last night - before putting the book down
as a shining example of what could be
his detail and precise writing makes sense to me
even as i am overwhelmed by it's contrast to many writings from today

He writes - as Rand does - with meaning in every word - not a wasted sentence...

I thanked sally last night for blessing me with her beauty and softness and her feminine

both things I am grateful for
The acknowledgment of both - the acceptance of both as greater things than myself
led me to beautiful dreams and to the placid
calm waters of my morning

It is clear to me that the building and creating that i do can happen anywhere
It is clear to me that I have generally made decisions that have their root above my soul
and for that reasons - many of those decisions don't last because they can't ... they are not born of my soul.

Instead they are born out of some twisted and beautiful process of man,
some form of relationship to man
some kind of interaction with the ether that man has created

let me get below the process of man
for the process of man has taken a hideous turn
and fallen
and is now devolving - as it should - there is no surprise

there is a bigger process - a process that includes the process of man
as the wind would carry a small bird
the wind
the wind
is the bigger process
to focus only on the bird is to lose everything
but to fight to hang on to what cannot be hung on to

if we make it ALL THERE IS
there will never be more

The more you know
the less you are.

wrong is right and right is wrong and up is down

but there is always

always

beauty

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