Tuesday, June 3, 2008

existence is not enough

What is "confusion"

without looking it up ... which i will in a minute

Con - against
Fusion - To Combine or mix together

Well i don't know what the technical foundations of those words are...and i didn't want to spend a lot of time looking them up...

Confusion - is some type of created state that allows a person to avoid responsibility. By claiming confusion - I claim that I do not choose to see what is true.

I claim to live in a fog, the dull and crushing safety of mediocrity.

And why wouldn't i want to see what is true?

Because I don't want to see myself in it.

So what am i "confused" about?

I am confused about whether to sell my business or not -
not really...I want to sell it. I want to be done with it. I want to move on in my life from this point and selling it provides me with that ability.

Could I not sell and have someone run it for me? i could but what's the fun in that, plus a host of other strong reasons, like liability, the nature of the business requiring constant oversight...??

But here's the rub...

How do I trust my "instinct"
Why would I want to trust my "instinct"

let's take the second questions first...
Instinct is animal. It is reactionary. It is hard wired. It is beneath our consciousness...to trust instinct is to neglet humanity, to shun reason, to devolve into primates...

The world of man is different from the world of animals. Trees cannot build houses and ants cannot perform science or produce movies. To rely on instinct, solely, is to give up all that you are and could ever be. And you will live, much like an animal but in the world of man...which will be a painful and quickly dead place. To live on instinct alone discounts miracles of hope and boxes the roots of joy.

without jugement...Human Beings can reason and can create outside of themselves, outside of the human sphere...without jugement...we may either accept and revel in this awareness or punish and run from it...

And if we run - the comfort of animals is not far behind...it is always waiting...200 years is not a flash on a blink...we are JUST human - by simple fact that we have this understanding...and no more...

If we run the dirt comfort of animals will find us in our human form, as it finds so many...existence...a narrow hallway beautiful only if you think it's a vast field...

If we run from our reason, if we run from our ability to build outside ourselves...existence will find us. And humans are not bugs, humans are not deer or whale - existence...

existence is not enough.

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